The Birds and The Bees
Things about dating your mother never mentioned.
Things about dating your mother never mentioned.
How you grew up as a child may have filtered your views of dating and sex. For those of you who had the uncomfortable “birds and bees” talk with your folks, I’m not here to put you through another round two of physiology 101. But, what was the chance that your folks talked about the social benefits of dating?
Dating, like many other topics of discussion can become skewed and hold a lot of misinformation. In certain areas of the country, among certain cultures dating and sex are still taboo and become a word of mouth knowledge, meaning, the “facts” emerge from what is believed to be truth, mostly stemming from life experience rather than scientific empirical data.
As people evolve through their life course other people may shape their positive and negative views on dating and sex. In other words, these concepts are about human interaction and socialization. For instance, have you ever thought of dating as a social means to survival? A 2003 study looking at the social bonds of female baboons and how that enhances infant survival found that “for humans and other primates, sociality has adaptive value.” Primates in the animal kingdom thrive off of socializing. Imagine using that as a kid when your father or mother didn’t let you date!
E-dating. As people grow, so do the trends of dating. Good ol’ fashion dinner and movies? Well, you may have had twenty or so e-mail exchanges before hand. Dating website like eharmony.com or match.com are great (and may I add indirect) ways for people to meet others; especially if you are living in a less populated area and are looking for a more diverse selection for dating. For example, popular gay and lesbian dating websites may be safe places for people to meet others, without “outing” themselves to their other social networks, in addition to there being a specific population catered towards those dating preferences.
Dating websites are also a good way to get a feel for a person before placing yourself in a vulnerable position when meeting them face to face. Dating websites, like other social networking websites can be fantastic ways (when done responsibly and with good moral character) to build your social network. A 2007 study suggests “Facebook usage was found to interact with measures of psychological well-being, suggesting that it might provide greater benefits for users experiencing low self-esteem and low life satisfaction.”
Regular ol’ Dating. Face-to-face interaction can be one of the most enjoyable pleasures in life, literally. Sharing that special time with that person may heighten your sexual attraction. The intimate time you spend with someone on a date can allow your body to tune into how they look, smell and even taste (if you’re really naughty).
Dating, like many other topics of discussion can become skewed and hold a lot of misinformation. In certain areas of the country, among certain cultures dating and sex are still taboo and become a word of mouth knowledge, meaning, the “facts” emerge from what is believed to be truth, mostly stemming from life experience rather than scientific empirical data.
As people evolve through their life course other people may shape their positive and negative views on dating and sex. In other words, these concepts are about human interaction and socialization. For instance, have you ever thought of dating as a social means to survival? A 2003 study looking at the social bonds of female baboons and how that enhances infant survival found that “for humans and other primates, sociality has adaptive value.” Primates in the animal kingdom thrive off of socializing. Imagine using that as a kid when your father or mother didn’t let you date!
E-dating. As people grow, so do the trends of dating. Good ol’ fashion dinner and movies? Well, you may have had twenty or so e-mail exchanges before hand. Dating website like eharmony.com or match.com are great (and may I add indirect) ways for people to meet others; especially if you are living in a less populated area and are looking for a more diverse selection for dating. For example, popular gay and lesbian dating websites may be safe places for people to meet others, without “outing” themselves to their other social networks, in addition to there being a specific population catered towards those dating preferences.
Dating websites are also a good way to get a feel for a person before placing yourself in a vulnerable position when meeting them face to face. Dating websites, like other social networking websites can be fantastic ways (when done responsibly and with good moral character) to build your social network. A 2007 study suggests “Facebook usage was found to interact with measures of psychological well-being, suggesting that it might provide greater benefits for users experiencing low self-esteem and low life satisfaction.”
Regular ol’ Dating. Face-to-face interaction can be one of the most enjoyable pleasures in life, literally. Sharing that special time with that person may heighten your sexual attraction. The intimate time you spend with someone on a date can allow your body to tune into how they look, smell and even taste (if you’re really naughty).
By: Jules Perkel
For example, the importance of the human sense of smell has by far been underestimated in the past. Several studies indicate that humans “indeed seem to use olfactory communication and are even able to produce and perceive certain pheromones; recent studies have found that pheromones may play an important role in the behavioural and reproduction biology of humans.”
Dating is timeless. Whether you are in a long term committed relationship or are just meeting one another after those twenty email exchanges, dating is something enjoyable that both parties can do to keep alive their socializing skills. Some fun things to consider when dating:
● Check out new spots, restaurant, lounges and clubs together. This is a great way to get a taste of the town and spend some intimate time with your special person.
● If you are a seasoned dater with the same person, pretend that you are meeting one another for the first time again- revisit those conversations you had when you first got to know one another- it is a nice and refreshing way to remind yourself why you stayed with the person in the first place.
● Do free activities for dates- you don’t always have to spend money. Getting creative like going to a free concert, or a poetry slam, a guest lecturer at the local university followed by ice cream, or a sporting event are some low cost high fun ways to date.
● Reserving a special night for dates. As we get older and busier this is especially important. Single or taken, kids or demanding work hours: you should still try to set one evening at least once a month where you are doing some of the aforementioned activities one-on-one with a partner.
● Budget for your dates. When you run out of free activities you need to hit up the reserves. Set aside money from your paycheck for your social health. That is, dating.
● Give yourself a break. I encourage you not to serial date to the point of juggling or exhaustion. Making dates an every day/night production may suggest there are other issues under the table that need to be worked out.
As with everything in life, dating comes with a balance and this balance should be carefully considered. Keep things in perspective: if you are new or old to dating, pay attention to your intuition and take things one day at a time. You don’t go onto Facebook and make 700 friends in a day, so, in the same way you may weigh your options when accepting a “friend” on Facebook, you may want to apply that to your dating as well. Dating and sex don’t have to be taboo. They can hold positive socializing benefits for the human consciousness.
Dating is timeless. Whether you are in a long term committed relationship or are just meeting one another after those twenty email exchanges, dating is something enjoyable that both parties can do to keep alive their socializing skills. Some fun things to consider when dating:
● Check out new spots, restaurant, lounges and clubs together. This is a great way to get a taste of the town and spend some intimate time with your special person.
● If you are a seasoned dater with the same person, pretend that you are meeting one another for the first time again- revisit those conversations you had when you first got to know one another- it is a nice and refreshing way to remind yourself why you stayed with the person in the first place.
● Do free activities for dates- you don’t always have to spend money. Getting creative like going to a free concert, or a poetry slam, a guest lecturer at the local university followed by ice cream, or a sporting event are some low cost high fun ways to date.
● Reserving a special night for dates. As we get older and busier this is especially important. Single or taken, kids or demanding work hours: you should still try to set one evening at least once a month where you are doing some of the aforementioned activities one-on-one with a partner.
● Budget for your dates. When you run out of free activities you need to hit up the reserves. Set aside money from your paycheck for your social health. That is, dating.
● Give yourself a break. I encourage you not to serial date to the point of juggling or exhaustion. Making dates an every day/night production may suggest there are other issues under the table that need to be worked out.
As with everything in life, dating comes with a balance and this balance should be carefully considered. Keep things in perspective: if you are new or old to dating, pay attention to your intuition and take things one day at a time. You don’t go onto Facebook and make 700 friends in a day, so, in the same way you may weigh your options when accepting a “friend” on Facebook, you may want to apply that to your dating as well. Dating and sex don’t have to be taboo. They can hold positive socializing benefits for the human consciousness.
health.
About •
©2010 MiTyMediagroup all rights reserved.
advertisement
Connect with US